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Jesus has won my heart. Foster kids have too. Running is my art. Here are my words, from me to you.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Whispers of the Wind


The wind has been so strong lately.
I can hear it right now outside my window.
Running into the wind is often an incredibly irritating bundle of miles.
My high school coach use to tell me to cut through the wind
I was never quite sure what that meant, but it worked. 
Sort of.
It seems like no matter how much I push through the wind during a run, it's hard.
I feel like I'm getting nowhere as I run a slow pace and feel like stopping.
It feels like a fight. 
And as I push through  it with all I have, 
I feel like the wind, this thing of nature that I can't control,
is winning the fight...




Life has been so demanding lately.
I can feel it in my back, the way it carries stress.
Becoming worn thin from curveballs life throws can be an immensely defeating experience. 
I've always been told to pray about stuff. And to always get up when I fall down.
I don't always feel like doing those things, but they tend to work.
Kind of.
But it seems like no matter how many times I pray or get back up after falling, life is hard.
It feels like I'm stuck in a cage being told how to live my life. 
It feels like a fight.
And as I push through it with all I have,
I feel like my circumstances, the ones I can't control,
are winning the fight... 




I like running in squares. 
Or triangles.
Not straight lines. 
I was at the park running one day. 
It was crazy windy.
I was so annoyed and frustrated for the first 3 miles. 
Every time I hit the 800 meter stretch of wind, I felt like I was running into an invisible brick wall. 
The wind made me want to stop running.
And that's a rare thing.
After those first 3 miles I decided I needed a new mindset to get through the next 4 miles.
It was then that I remembered why I run.


Running is where I find God.


It's where I have my Jesus time.
It's not just the place where I feel free to talk to Him.
It's the place where I can actually hear Him talk to me.
Which is one of the hardest things for me listen for.
It's when I invite Him to run each step with me that I am able to truly listen for His voice.
I picture Him right beside me, setting our pace.
Especially during those runs against the wind.



The wind.



As I began to run in step with my Creator, 
I started to realize why the wind is so important.
It makes me a stronger runner.
As I continued to run in step with my Creator, 
I began to realize why crap in life is important.
It makes me a stronger person.



I prefer running in squares and triangles because they allow
 me to catch the wind at all of its angles.
I never knew that my love for this "shape running" 
if you will would teach me about life.
I'm gonna stop blabbing and actually get to my point now.




Life & running are like squares or triangles.




There are times when the wind is at our backs.


There are times when life is easy.


There are times when the wind is at our sides, 
pushing us to the side, but not enabling us.


There are times when life has it's stuff, 
but it doesn't waver us much.



And there are times when we run against the wind,
struggling with all we
 have in us to get to the corner that will put the wind at our side.





There are times when the mess of life is just too much, 
coming at us full force with expectations that we fear we'll never meet 
and all we want is for this phase of life to make
 a turn for the better.





I've got one run to run. 
One life to live.
I'm always gonna have windy runs in life.
But there are always corners that I turn with that put the wind at my side.
Even after it's been in my face for a long time.
I have to keep running.
Even when I feel like stopping.
That corner will come.
I have to keep running.
It's hard.
So hard.
And too easy to feel like stopping.
But I must keep running.
Because when I run into the wind,
I become a stronger runner.




The wind whispers virtues.
Embrace the run against it.